Oceanside, Nevada

What day is it? I only ask because I lost track waaaay back. It’s coming up on three weeks since my real day off and most of those days have been 12-14 hours long. In short, I’m so burned out I crunch when sit down.

Because I’m burned out and behind on news, I figure I’ll take the lazy way out and do one of those meme thingy’s that are all the shiz with the kiddies. This one comes from Flip, by way of Twinks.

Coke or Pepsi? Coke.

7-Up or Sprite? Sprite.

Kool-Aid or Hawaiian Punch? Which has the vodka in it?

McDonald’s or Burger King? In & Out.

Wendy’s or White Castle? White Castle

Soyburgers or Tofu Dogs? Dirty dish sponge wrapped in a soiled sock.

Ginger or Mary Ann? Both.

Wilma Flintstone or Betty Rubble? I’d go with Wilma, but I’d be thinking about Betty.

Laverne DeFazio or Shirley Feeney? Pinky Tuscadero.

Marge Simpson or Jane Jetson? Jane, because she’s the one who can stop this crazy thing.

Olive Oyl or Peggy Hill? Olive Oyl.

George Reeves or Christopher Reeve? George Reeves.

Adam West or Michael Keaton? Christian Bale, even if he does lisp.

Clayton Moore or Klinton Spilsbury? Oh come on, now you’re just making people up.

Playboy or Penthouse? Penthouse.

Gallery or Hustler? They still PRINT porn? How quaint.

Sports Illustrated or National Geographic? Nat Geo.

New York Times or New York Post? Times.

USA Today or Your Local Paper? Depends. Am I wrapping a fish or lining a birdcage?

National Enquirer or Weekly World News? Lobster Boy FTW!

Krispy Kreme or Dunkin’ Donuts? Dunkin Donuts. Krispy Kreme.

Jell-O or Pudding? Pudding.

Ice Cream or Cake? Ice Cream.

Marijuana or Alcohol? Either.

LSD or Peyote? No thanks.

Heroin or Crack? Get away from me.

Menthol Cigarettes or Non-Menthol? True fact: Menthol helps to dilate your bronchioles, giving you a bigger nicotine hit.

A Pipe or A Cigar? Stogie.

Snuff or Chewing Tobacco? Stogie.

Ivory or Dove? Another true fact: a wet bar of soap is an excellent place to grow bacteria, like Staph Aureus!

Tidy Bowl or 2000 Flushes? I’m an engineer. I’ll install or fix a toilet. I don’t clean them.

Charmin or The Sears-Roebuck Catalogue? Really?

Alice Cooper or KISS? Cooper.

Rush or The Guess Who? Rush.

AC/DC or Black Sabbath? AC/DC.

Deep Purple or Led Zep? Zeppelin.

The Who or The Rolling Stones? Meh.

The Beatles or Chuck Berry? Chuck Berry.

Jerry Lee Lewis or Little Richard? Jerry Lee Lewis.

Baseball or Football? Baseball.

Basketball or Hockey? Hockey.

Volleyball or Lacrosse? Lacrosse.

Protestant or Catholic? Atheist.

Reform, Conservative, or Orthodox? Orthodox Atheist, all the way.

Atheist or Agnostic? Agnostics are atheists who can’t commit.

Big Bang or Creationism? BOOOM!

Evolution or Devolution? Huh?

Slide, Swing, or See-Saw? Which one is closer to the pool bar?

Wedgie or Cup Check? Take your pick, you’re only getting one shot fucko.

Married or Single? Married.

Monogamy or Polygamy? Are we talking philosophically or practically here? Nuance counts.

Gay or Straight? Who cares?

Straight or Curly? Bald.

Curly or Shemp? Curly.

Shemp or Joe? Curly.

Joe or Curly Joe? Curly. Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop.

Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly? Gene Kelly.

Ginger Rogers or Cyd Charrise? Cyd Charrise.

‘62 Mets or ‘03 Tigers? Meh.

Superman or Spiderman? Either.

Batman or Captain America? Batman.

Dr. Doom or Lex Luthor? Dr. Doom.

Democrat or Republican? Democrat.

Conservative or Liberal? Liberal.

Capitalist or Socialist? Somewhere in the middle.

Anarchist or Statist? blah blah blah blah.

Carnivore, Omnivore, or Vegetarian? Omnivore.

Vegetarian or Vegan? No.

Vegan or Starvation? Duh.

The Three Stooges or The Marx Brothers? Marx Brothers.

Laurel & Hardy or Abbott & Costello? Abbott & Costello.

Martin & Lewis or Rowan & Martin? Rowan & Martin.

The Munsters or The Addams Family? Addams Family.

Bewitched or I Dream Of Jeannie? The real question is: Dick Sergeant or Dick York?

Wife Swap or A Kick In The Nuts? Is this a trick?

Underwear or Pajamas? Underwear?

Pajamas or Nude? Nude.

Both Of You Nude or One Nude & One With Pajamas? Huh? Have you ever actually HAD sex?

Same Bed or Separate Beds? Depends on who falls asleep first.

Seat Up or Down? Look before you leap.

Paper Hanging Over or Under? Over.

Boxers or Briefs? Boxers.

Baggies or A Speedo? I only dog paddle!

Bloomers or Butt Floss? Depends on who’s wearing it.

Sock-Sock-Shoe-Shoe or Sock-Shoe-Sock-Shoe? Pants first, then shoes.

Grecian Urn or Henway? There you go, making shit up again.

And Don’t Call Me Shirley or Take My Wife, Please? Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

Pie Fight or Genteel Social Satire Full of Clever Bons Mots? Which one comes with vodka again?

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